Howdy.

I've been away.
I've grown.
I've gotten lost.
I've been found.


And now I feel as thought I am on the verge of that brilliant song (if you know me, which I would suppose you do if you are indeed reading this, then you will know which song I speak of).

So - I may be around here for a while, on and off.

Later, baked potata!

I'm bored, and dA no longer hold the same avid grip it used to have on me. I may remover every piece of work I have here, or I may just forget about it altogether.

On another note - I hate the summer. I hate the heat. I went to work today and threw up due to the heat, and it's only June. I've no idea how - if - I'll survive the summer. I'm still in and out of hospital with my kidney troubles, no closer to an answer than I have ever been, and am bored with the whole thing. I may just give up and have a come what may attitude with it all. If they fail again, then I guess it's the end. Perhaps.






I'm losing patience with my friends - those I once held dear. One irritates me any time I see him - we butt heads, conflicting personalities doesn't even come close to a fair brief on the subject. Most of the time. Another is being asked to do something trivial by those she lives with, and has decided to move out of home because of it. She'll have a rather hard landing if and when she finally does leave the safety and comfort of her parent's house - no one to pick up after you, no-one to pay the bills for you, no-one to cook your meals, no-one to call you at 10pm to remind you to go home because you have work in the morning. Another has no semblance of what money actually means for some people. He has his money given to him every week by the government, and has no outgoings from that money. As such he doesn't understand how I cannot afford a £50 membership fee for a gym when I have a job, yet he can without a job. He doesn't have a gas bill, a water bill, and electricity bill, a phone bill to pay - he just has to buy food - something I have to do on top of the aforementioned. Yet he still plays the "staving artist" card when it comes to doing anything else. The fact is, he could get work - it just wouldn't involve his "gift" (which is for producing stereotypical gothic art of a fairly standard standard - nothing spectacular - unless thats just because I don't understand his gift). We all have to make sacrifices, and no-one's saying he couldn't get a job involving art in the future - it'd just help if he got his act together.

Why is it that I, a 20 year old, feel so much older, wiser and more together with the world of adulthood and responsibilities than those who are 5 - nay - 10 years older than I?

Put your playlist / library on shuffle and answer these questions only with lyrics of the song that comes up, even if it sounds stupid.

1. Who are you?
Pretty Girl is offering while he confesses Everything;
{Pretty Girl (the Way) - Sugarcult}

2. What do you look like?
I'm a walking contradiction and I ain't got no life;
{ Walking Contradiction - Green Day }

3. What's your secret?
I bid on Shatners old toupee - they had it on Ebay;
{ Ebay - Weird Al }

4. What do you want to be?
Living in a shadow of someone else's dream;
{ shadow - Ashlee Simpson }

5. What can you do?
If I could be a superhero I would be drug-free boy;
{ Superhero - Stephen Lynch }

6. What can't you do?
When we put on our cloaks and tell warlock jokes - we're the coolest kids in the school!;
{ D&D - stephen Lynch }

7. Where do you live?
I wish I could get inside your head;
{ Instead - Stacey Orrico }

8. What is love?
'Cuse you know - I'm just playing my game;
{Playing my game - Lene Marlin}

9. What is friendship?
Yes she knows from the look in their eyes - Everyones got a theory about the bitter one;
{ to the Moon and Back - Savage Garden }

10. What are you afraid of?
No se puede vivir con tanto veneno;
{ No - Shakira }

12. What would you do with a million dollars?
I remember the night you said lets go for a ride I didn't want the night to end;
{ Something more - Aly and AJ }

13. What would you tell the one who loves you?
Don't spend your eternity without thinking twice;
{ Proud like a God - Guano Apes }

14. What would you tell your enemies?
Who would've though you could hurt me, the way you've done - so deliberate, determined;
{ Illegal - Shakira feat. Carlos Santana }

15. What do you want to do?
Memories that you can't overrun, memories I could cry for;
{ Back in the Picture - the Rasmus }

16. Where do you want to be?
Now she keeps him in the Shed;
{ Special - Stephen lynch }

18. What questions do you ask?
Please leave all overcoats, canes and tophats with the doorman?
{ there's a reason these tables are numbered honey, you just haven't though of it yet - Panic! at the disco }

19. What advice would you give?
My real name is Bealibub, but you can call me Beelz;
{ Beelz - Stephen Lynch }

20. What mistakes do you make?
And broken, I'm pickin up the pieces I won't live in all your mistakes ;
{ Giving it all Away - Ashlee Simpson }

21. What do people think or say about you?
I'm bouncing off the walls again, and I'm looking like a fool again;
{ Bouncing off the Walls - Sugarcult }


22. What do you want?
I can't tell you how much I wish we could just shut up and smile;
{ Shut up and smile - Bowling for soup }

Rules:
List 10 things about your art and post it in your journal. Then pick six other deviants to do the same.

1. I write what I feel like, when I feel like it.

2. I don't like my drawing skills. They are poor and need honing.

3. I spend forever on shading - so long as its not my drawing.

4. I can't write if I want to, and can;t find anything to write on when I need to.

5. I am a bit random with what I post.

6. My pictures are very random, and I often remove them when I feel I have grown out of them.

7. I can't stand it when I make a typo. EVER.

8. I'm not so good at drawing people's heads.

9. I'll have random bits of ideas, write them down, then forget about them. There's no telling how much I could have on here that just isn't.

10. I'm starting to appreciate the small nuances required in absolute beauty and am working towards recognising them in my art - to make it beautiful.

Answer in One Word

1. Yourself: warm
2. Your girlfriend/boyfriend: busy
3. Your hair?: unwashed
4. Your mother?: nothere
5. Your Father?: nothere
6. Your Favorite Item: laptop
7. Your dream last night: Auctions
8. Your Favorite drink: Water
9. Your Dream Car: meh
10. The Room You Are In: office
11. Your Ex: friend
12. Your fear: depth
13. What you want to be in 10 years: Working
14. Who you hung out with last night?: Andypants
15. What You're Not?: naked
16. Muffins: top
17: One of Your Wish List Items: none
18: Time: 22:22
19. The Last Thing You Did: this
20. What You Are Wearing: lots
21. Your Favorite Weather: Cold
22. Your Favorite Book Genre: erotica
23. The Last Thing You Ate: pasta
24. Your Life: tiring
25. Your Mood: insatiable
26. Your body: smelly
27. What are you thinking right now?: owch
29. What are you doing at the moment?: WatchingAngel
30. Your summer: sleep
31. Best part of your life: FoodAndypants

Well that was crap, wasn't it?