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If I don't wake
When the morning comes,
Do not weep
Do not cry
Do not hate me for leaving

If I don't wake
When the day breaks,
Smile because you knew me
Rejoice that I am at peace
Be happy that I loved you

If I don't wake
When the birds first sing,
Listen to their song
Listen to their voice
Sing along with them....and me

If I don't wake
When the light touches my face,
Let it bathe your soul
Let it cover you in warmth
Feel its rays as you once felt my touch

If I don't wake
When the wind blows through the curtains,
Feel the breeze
Feel it wash over you
As you watch my spirit soar

And always remember me.
©2005-2009 ~brat-princess
:iconbrat-princess:

Author's Comments

this came out the other day whilst i was ..... out of the body so to speak....maybe i didn't write it, but someone else did and couldn't communicate it, so used me to......

Maybe


{edit : I removed the last stanza from the deviation, I've found I do not like it, so I'm posting it here:
<center>
Every time you hear the birds
Every time you see the sun
Every time you feel the breeze
Remember I'm still in your heart </center>

Comments


love 0 0 joy 0 0 wow 0 0 mad 0 0 sad 0 0 fear 0 0 neutral 0 0
:iconrainygirl:
I suck at critique on poems, as you know, but I can at least say this does deserve a fave ^^

--
++ ... Choke me, Drown me ... ++
:iconcuddlemonster:
'Tis very loverly.

--
"Don't you just love Mr. Nelson?"
"Why, I love him as much as a fifteen-year-old straight girl CAN love a 58-year-old gay man who is also her teacher!"

"I'm always on there...waiting. I'm a deviantART shark. And I want to eat your legs."
:iconcrazies:
you suck man!

--
Life's a bitch. Be its pimp...
[link]
:iconcrazies:
you should have red my last comment BEFORE i sent it...
but here is what i really think:


i love the feeling you get when you read this, but the last 4 line dont quite work for me. it seems to turn a smile into 'ok...this is cheesy'... if you were to cut those last lines, (for me) this would be a winner

--
Life's a bitch. Be its pimp...
[link]
:iconduskw0lf:
So sad, but so touching, sniff, sniff ..

--

Whatever we do, either good or bad,
will shoot back at us when least expected.
:iconpraetoritevong:
Good use of repetition somewhat negated by lack of consistent flow; the rhythm sometimes goes a little awkward, for example "every time" in the last stanza. Well done though in keeping the structure well defined, especially repetition in lines 3 & 4.

--
"Absence and death are the same - only in death there is no suffering."

Details

January 31, 2005
894 bytes
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